This week’s post has been a hard one for me. For weeks I have started and stopped it, as I really wanted to get it right. I wanted to write this amazing, compelling, poignant, cleverly written letter to Starbucks, like a “Dear John” letter, that was definitely going to get Starbucks’ attention because they were going to lose ME as a customer. I could already see Darlene Rodriquez on Channel 4 morning news talking about “How one local woman told Starbucks “See You Latte”” with a picture of my Flawed & Funny logo by her head on the TV screen. I had it all planned out…
Dear Starbucks,
When I first met you I was a young and inexperienced coffee drinker. In college did I experiment a little bit with Green Mountain and Dunkin’ Donuts? Yes. And have I ever had a dream or two about Juan Veldez, with his thick mustache, white hat and striped poncho, standing alongside his mule carrying sacks of harvested 100% Columbian coffee beans on his back? Of course, hasn’t everyone? But they are nothing like you. After one sip of your complexity, I knew you were different. You were tall (and grande, and venti), strong, bold and smelled delicious, but at the same time you were a little bitter and a little harsh. But over time I craved your boldness and bite especially in the morning, when I’d wake up and think about holding a cup of you in my hands. On my way to work, as I mentally prepared for the day, I would come and pick you up. I loved that you didn’t talk back, you never wanted anything from me, you just gave yourself to me so selfishly. You were perfect for me, you’re my cup of tea (eh, coffee?).
We’ve been together for a long time, and our relationship has been beautiful, but I feel that we have started to drift apart and others are coming between us. I am no longer longing to go see you in the morning, because what used to be a source of peace and calmness and romance, is now filled with hustle and bustle and stress. You are no longer my escape, my me time. As soon as I open the door, I am hit with negativity. Negativity coming from the long line of java-seeking impatient adults scowling at the flocks of teenagers that are laughing and screaming (and frankly making too much noise at this hour of the day) and holding up the line as they wait for their morning Frappuccinos (sundaes for breakfast?), from the Baristas who are getting snappy and stressed out as the line grows as they try to make the drinks the teenagers have ordered off the secret menu, and from me as I get more and more annoyed as I see people just calmly waltzing in to pick up their pre-ordered drinks as I stand there for 15 minutes enduring the impatience and rage that is building inside me.
So here is where I was going to have my big finish and tell Starbucks that I was done with them. That all I wanted was coffee and harmony in the morning, and that I couldn’t take the negative vibe in their coffeehouse anymore and that I was taking my business elsewhere! But after reading my letter, I realized that Starbucks really didn’t do anything wrong. Their coffee is still as dreamy as ever, and I do still want their love! I was the one being negative. I couldn’t finish the letter, not even for the sake of the blog and for the drama of it all. Seeing it in words on a screen, I could see that I was focusing on all the bad stuff, all the things that were out of my control (the people in line, the teenagers, the customers who were getting ahead of me (that one got me the most!)), all the things that were interfering with my morning coffee tryst. “No, no, no…this isn’t how its supposed to be!” I screamed inside.
I decided that I could either ride off in the sunset with Juan and his mule and make my coffee at home in the morning (which everyone knows is never as hot and or tasty), or I could work it out. I decided to go with the latter because what we have is real, and I’m not going to let the others come between us. As much as I was against the online ordering, because I knew how it made me feel seeing others cutting the line, I decided it was my only choice. Sometimes you do what you have to do when something is meant to bean.