Willpower

I like to think of myself as a very motivated and driven person, always filled with the best intentions of being the most productive that I can.  Most nights, instead of counting sheep I count all the things I plan to check of my list the next day.  As I drift off to sleep, I already start to feel a sense of accomplishment.

• Workout first thing in the morning √
• Pack my own (healthy) lunch √
• Make dinner plans with my mom √
• Respond to all those low-priority, “I’ll get to them next week” e-mails √
• Buy present for daughter’s 13^th birthday! √

And for the most part, I am usually pretty successful at getting through my list.  Well, at least enough to feel like I accomplished something.  But lately, I’m not feeling it.  I’m still making the lists, still have lots of good intentions, but it’s the execution that is lacking, especially the tasks that are just for me.  I feel like I have a lot less willpower and a lot more won’t-power, as in…I won’t stop hitting the snooze bar and get my butt out of bed to go workout, or I won’t put down my fork even though my skirt has become so tight around my waist that I feel like I’m being hogtied, or I won’t put away my credit card and walk away from the $300 pair of “must-have” Rag & Bone jeans that I really don’t need (or more realistically, don’t really fit into due to the previously mentioned snooze tag and dining rodeo).  If only I had more willpower, I’d be springing out of bed to keep my date with Tony Horton and his Beachbody fangirls, I’d be eating the lunch I packed instead of spending $15 at the Indian take-out restaurant, filling up on basmati rice and samosas, only to be chased down with an iced coffee and carrot cake donut that I couldn’t pass up on my way back to the office, and I’d have more money in my bank account and less debt on my Bloomingdale’s card (not to mention a tush that would fit in the 6 pairs of cute jeans I already own), right?

Great, so how do I get more willpower?  Is there an app for that?

Unfortunately, recharging my willpower and overcoming my lack of execution is more complicated than just plugging in my iPhone.  Apparently, it’s not just about having a little self-control and willing myself out of bed, there’s strategy involved too.  Here’s what I learned…

According to the American Psychological Association, willpower “is the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” Willpower can come in different forms…sometimes I need it to keep me from doing something, like when it helps me walk past the donut shop without giving it a whiff, even though I really want to go inside and lick the icing off every donut in the place.  Other times I need it to motivate me to do something, like getting up to work out, and fight the urge to stay in my cozy bed.

That all seems straightforward, and on some level, I think I already understood most of that to a certain degree.  But what I didn’t fully appreciate were the following 5 truths about willpower that I think are pretty powerful and worth sharing with you.

Truth #1: Willpower is Like a Piggy Bank

Just like money in my bank account, willpower is in limited supply.  So, unless I win the willpower lottery, I should budget my willpower so that I have it when it counts.

That means that on the days that I get up in the morning and workout starting at 5:15am, maybe I should find another route back to my office at lunch time that doesn’t include walking past the donut shop.  I made a willpower withdrawal from my bank to get up and workout, but as I am building back up my account, I may not have enough wherewithal to just keep walking past the bakeshop window.   Overtime, I may fill my account enough to more easily resist the temptation, but right now I’d say I should at least walk on the other side of the street.

Truth #2 Willpower is Like a Muscle

As with many people, I thought that some people were fortunate enough to be born with willpower and others were not.  That’s totally false!  It’s actually like a muscle and can be strengthened over time.  To give my will a boost, the trick is to set small, incremental goals that can be easily met and doing them over-and-over again.  But what I need to keep in mind is that just like with my body, if I overdo it by taking on a bigger challenge than I am ready for, I won’t necessarily get stronger but I am sure to be sore.   Like if I commit to doing 20 squats a day, 3 days a week, I’ll be fine.  But if I commit to doing 50 squats with 20lb weights in each hand 3 days a week right out of the gate, the only thing I will earn is the right to use the handicapped bars in the bathroom stall as I try and lower myself down to the toilet.

Truth #3 Feelings Affect Willpower

There is definitely a connection between my emotions and my ability to make decisions that will help me achieve my long-term goals.  After a stressful or intense day at work, it is very easy for me to allow a glass of pinot noir for the train ride home to cut in front of weight loss in my line of goals.

Truth #4 I Need More Than Willpower

Willpower matters, but I also need strategies to help keep me on track.  As willpower comes and goes, I need to have a toolbox at my disposal to help me smooth out the volatility and make a positive impact on my ability to make smarter decisions.   One of the most effective tools is known as “pre-commiting.”  It’s a technique that takes willpower out of the equation.  Aha!  Changing my route back to my office after lunch would be an example, or leaving my Bloomingdale’s credit card at home, or putting my alarm clock in the bathroom.  While I am sure my husband wouldn’t appreciate my alarm echoing off all the tiles in the bathroom at 4:45 in the morning, it certainly would do the trick of getting me out of bed.  Once I was up, I would be less likely to climb back into bed.

Truth #5 Willpower is a Renewable Resource

I’m human!  I need to give myself a break and realize that there will be times that I’ll have more won’t-power versus willpower, as in this past week.  After I did my research, over the next couple of days I took walks to Bryant Park at lunch, listened to podcasts that I have putting off, and started reading a new book…not just Star Tracks in People Magazine, a real book!  Recognizing that my willpower gauge was close to “E” motivated me to take a breath, assess what I needed to refill my willpower tank and get back to being me!

I feel better already!  Now where did I put my sneakers, Tony is waiting for me…